So, just when I think my life is going good and things are smooth sailing, something takes away the wind from my sails and I drift backwards into the muddied waters of my past. I've learned that they are called "Triggers". A holiday, someone's name mentioned, or someone you see, maybe a phrase or even one word that can bring back the pain, fears, regrets, or the shame.
Today it is the holiday. Remembering last year, my first Easter as a committed Christian, feeling a little strange about the way the holiday services went down, but not clearly understanding, not quite able to put my finger one what was wrong. Feeling some anguish over the fact that Jesus was ready to raise from the dead after having died for the sins of mankind and that fact was kind of glossed over, personalized into what someone else wanted to make it.
I just want to say thank you, Jesus, for all that you have done for me and I am sorry it took me so long to realize the true impact and chose to follow you.
Jen
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