Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Why am I still the bad guy?

So recently things have changed at Crossing Church. Wonderful. No, really, I mean it. I am thrilled (but not yet moved). I have prayed for a change in their hearts. I have prayed for biblical teaching. I have prayed for acknowledgement, repentance and drastic change in the way things are run. I am so happy for the changes!!  I hope they continue on their path to grace and righteousness.

What I don't understand...what makes the changes hurt... is that even with everything that has happened these past few weeks, those of us that spoke out against the abuse, the false teaching, the manipulation and every wrong thing we could hope to relay to the public....we are still the bad guys. We are still ostracized by attenders, being ignored by former friends (even to the point of my children no longer being allowed to play with schoolmates/friends), and blamed for the shake up. Eric is being praised as this wonderful man of God who has repented and is now leading the church into the future. Crossing Church "will never be the same because [he is] not the same". Really?  Is that because it is about him, because I thought it was "always, only about Jesus"???  There is still a problem, there is still pain. I appreciate the changes, but really Christians, are you holding your grudges?  Are you forgiving or are you going to stand by Eric no matter what and continue to follow his lead and ignore the backstories?  Are you going to continue to treat the outspoken former attenders like we have leprosy?  I am tired of my children having to suffer because of something I did.

I made the mistake of taking them to that church. I made the mistake of publicly speaking out about the wrong that I saw.  I made the mistake of trusting this 'man of God' and his leadership with the teaching of my family in the way of a false God.  I am living with my mistakes, but you know what?  We, as a family, are doing wonderful. We are blessed every day. We have love and peace in our lives. We have a solid foundation, strong values, great pastors at our new church home, a love for God that far surpasses anything I could have ever imagined two years ago.  At this point, breaking me is impossible!!

Jen

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Stronger

Just because someone says that they are sorry, do you just believe them and move on? God says we should but how are we showing our love to God by ignoring the souls that are being lost or abandoned along the way? A false teaching will not save you. A false leader will lead you down a road you should NOT want to be on.  Some say closure is good, but is that the final answer? Over and over again the Bible told us this was coming. The battle is ongoing, and I say we fight.

Acts 20:28-30
28 “So guard yourselves and God’s people. Feed and shepherd God’s flock—his church, purchased with his own blood—over which the Holy Spirit has appointed you as elders. 29 I know that false teachers, like vicious wolves, will come in among you after I leave, not sparing the flock. 30 Even some men from your own group will rise up and distort the truth in order to draw a following.
1 Timothy 4: 3-4
For a time is coming when people will no longer listen to sound and wholesome teaching. They will follow their own desires and will look for teachers who will tell them whatever their itching ears want to hear. They will reject the truth and chase after myths.
Jude 1:3-4
Dear friends, I had been eagerly planning to write to you about the salvation we all share. But now I find that I must write about something else, urging you to defend the faith that God has entrusted once for all time to his holy people. I say this because some ungodly people have wormed their way into your churches, saying that God’s marvelous grace allows us to live immoral lives. The condemnation of such people was recorded long ago, for they have denied our only Master and Lord, Jesus Christ.


The Bible also tells us to rebuke fellow sinners and if they repent, forgive them.

2 Timothy 4:1-2  I solemnly urge you in the presence of God and Christ Jesus, who will someday judge the living and the dead when he appears to set up his Kingdom: Preach the word of God. Be prepared, whether the time is favorable or not. Patiently correct, rebuke, and encourage your people with good teaching. 

Luke 17:3
So watch yourselves! “If another believer sins, rebuke that person; then if there is repentance, forgive
."


We need to fight the Devil in any way we can. We need to stay strong in our faith and shout down the evil that comes along. I will do my best to guide the lost and protect the found while I participate in this battle. I know that forgiveness is hard, forgetting is impossible, but holding onto the pain and heartache was only making me miserable.

I was able to stay strong. I have even become stronger in my faith through this past year, even without closure. I have a good support system in place to field my questions, concerns, hurts and anything else that comes up. For me, some bitterness comes through once in a while, but for the most part is gone. I don't think an apology is enough, but the forgiveness is already there. I have fought my demons (and continue to fight them daily) and know that others, even pastors, have their own battles to fight. I understand that we are all sinners and will continue to sin. I, however, will own my own decisions and know that the past choices I made were forgiven on a cross a long, long time ago.

I will continue to pray for those in BDM that are struggling and in pain. That they can find the closure they so desperately seek. That they can find peace and contentment in their hearts.

I will continue to pray that the church for people that don't do church will decide to feed the sheep that look to them for food. I will continue to pray for a radical change in their hearts to properly teach the gospel before it is too late. Eric Dykstra is showing a change of heart. Trusting it is another matter. Time will tell, but I am hoping he is moving in the right direction. I pray they are protected in their quest to turn the church into a more Biblically sound place to worship.

I will continue to just pray knowing that no matter what has happened or why, in the end, this has only made me stronger.

Jen